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Ron Misiko and Ray Motsi

The Divorce Dilemma

Equipping You to Minister with Grace and Truth

The Divorce Dilemma will give you a solid understanding of what the Bible says about divorce, stir your heart to compassion for divorced people, and help you become a champion for God’s grace and truth about divorce in your community.

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The church faces a dilemma: we’re not sure how to connect what the Bible says with the person in front of us.

Perhaps we don’t want to believe that divorce exists among Christians. Or we’re afraid to talk about it because we don’t know what to do. The result is that we don’t do much. But divorce isn’t going away. Instead, divorcées are going away. They are realizing Christians are the last people they should turn to for help.

You are called to be part of the solution. The Divorce Dilemma will equip you with a solid understanding of what the Bible says about divorce, stir your heart to compassion for divorced people, and provide practical ways to do something in your church community.

Rev Dr Ron Misiko and Rev Dr Ray Motsi share their experiences as pastors and as married people, as well as their areas of expertise in the legal system and Bible scholarship. From their different African contexts, the authors explain how to navigate the challenges we face today. With the help of this practical handbook, you can become a champion for God’s grace and truth about divorce in your community.

Rev Dr Ron Misiko has a growing reputation in Kenya as someone who is willing to talk about divorce and has solutions to address it. When he has shared his heart for divorce, the response has always been that this is a highly relevant topic that ministers are struggling to address. His passion for divorcées grew out of his 12 years pastoring Karura Community Chapel, a thriving church in Nairobi. For his DMin, he did multi-disciplinary research on a biblical and pastoral response to divorce for the church in Kenya. As an Advocate of the High Court of Kenya trained in mediation, Dr Misiko also shares insights from his legal expertise in The Divorce Dilemma.

Rev Dr Ray Motsi is the President of the Theological College of Zimbabwe, and has been a Baptist pastor for over 20 years. He holds a BA in Practical Theology, an MA in Old Testament and Hebrew, and a PhD in Peacebuilding, Conflict Resolution, and Trauma Healing. He founded Grace to Heal, a faith-based organization focusing on community peace-making and conflict resolution. He has been through marital difficulties and seen biblical principles transform his marriage, as well as the marriages of couples he has counselled. Motsi brings Old Testament, cultural and conflict resolution perspectives to The Divorce Dilemma.

This informative book expresses deep, compassionate, pastoral sensitivity and practical wisdom. Beautifully and movingly written, grounded fully in both Scripture and knowledge of a range of African cultures, it says things that have very much needed to be said. —Prof Craig S. Keener and Dr Médine Moussounga Keener, Professor of Biblical Studies and Pastoral Care Coordinator at Asbury Theological Seminary, USA

It is almost impossible to justify the richness of this book in just few lines. It is authentically African, biblically grounded, and compassionate to the hurting. If you are a pastor, this book will give you tools to support couples in your church before, during, and after divorce. If you are married, this book is like a compass to a sailor, giving direction to your marriage. If you are not married, this book is like a brush to a painter, giving bright colours to light the path of your marriage. —Rev Dr Kilama Dennis, Deputy Vice Chancellor of Africa Renewal University and Senior Pastor of Lugogo Baptist Church in Kampala, Uganda

The topic of divorce in Africa is seldom canvassed in the open. It is treated as shameful and taboo, especially among Christians. Dr Misiko and Dr Motsi have broken the silence around this very delicate subject and have handled it with exquisite care. They have treated the subject with theological balance from a modern African perspective. This book is a must-read for church leaders across Africa. —Pastor David Obuki, Senior Pastor of Kileleshwa Covenant Community Church, Kenya

I wish I could have read this book 15 years ago when a colleague retorted, “Has any of you seen a death certificate endorsed: ‘Death due to leaving a marriage’?” We were commiserating on the hollowness of divorce settlements and even victories in court in situations where the parties had become enemies. We laughed off this comment, but it stuck with me how many people I had seen spiritually die after their marriage fell apart, and then continue to have legal, social, and even psychological problems because divorce had uprooted them from God and the church, when they most needed spiritual sustenance. This is a timely book, calling the African church to a more inclusive and caring fellowship. Written in a language and tone that embraces, it offers a much-needed calmness in our chaotic world. —Prisca Dube, legal practitioner and gender activist with Zimbabwe Lawyers for Human Rights, Bulawayo Office

Rarely does one find a book written in Africa for Africa with such compassion and cultural sensitivity, combined with a deep understanding of the biblical perspective on a topic as controversial as divorce. A must-read for every pastor, married couple, single, and anyone wanting to stand in the gap to uphold the God-ordained institution of marriage. —Dr Priscilla Adoyo-Maritim, Vice President of Academic Affairs at International Theological Seminary, USA

Two brilliant minds provide biblical and contextual ways of equipping God’s people to handle the emotional catastrophe – and often the legal nightmare – that the unfortunate situation of divorce brings. Using real-life stories from their experiences, the writers have not only helped those going through the ruin and heartache of divorce, but have also helped God’s people and community who are charged with the divine responsibility to provide a place of comfort, consolation, and reconciliation for those in these dire situations. A must-read for those who care. —Dr John Jusu, Overseas Council Regional Director for Africa, “Africa Study Bible” supervising editor

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