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Chao Tsuma Wanje and James Wanje

Getting Married

Building Your Marriage Before It Begins

Marriage is a huge life transition. Luckily, you don’t have to do it alone. Getting Married will help you and your fiancé(e) prepare for a life-long healthy relationship and resolve conflicts before they explode.

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Marriage is a beautiful gift from God. It’s also a terrifying life transition. Finances, in-laws, sex, roles… There’s certainly a lot to think about! When couples are approaching their wedding, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed.

But luckily, you don’t have to do it alone. In Getting Married: Building Your Marriage Before It Begins, Dr Chao Tsuma Wanje and James Wanje share their over 10 years of experience in preparing couples for marriage.

Written as a friendly and light-hearted conversation, this book is perfect for you and your fiancé(e) to read and discuss together. Dr Chao and James combine timeless wisdom and practical examples to help couples build their new life as they become one flesh. Each chapter includes several helpful discussion questions to help couples apply the book’s teachings to their own lives. As you work through them at your own pace, you’ll learn how to become one.

Getting Married will help you prepare for a lifetime-long healthy relationship. If you’re engaged, this book may change your life. After all, investing in your marriage before it starts is well worth it.

Dr Chao Tsuma Wanje and her husband James Wanje have helped prepare couples for marriage for over 10 years. They have led premarital counselling for megachurches across denominations in Nairobi, Kenya, working with Cru’s FamilyLife strategy and now Sowing Seeds of Joy, Inc.

They follow up with the couples they have discipled for years, establishing them in small couples’ discipleship groups and equipping them to mentor other new couples. Chao researched pre-marital counselling for her doctoral studies, seeking the input of pastors, church leaders, and individuals on this subject.

Chao and James Wanje have written the guide that I have often longed for in my work as marriage educator. The environment in which young people meet and get married has changed significantly over time. This tool will help them safely navigate towards healthy and sustainable marriages. It includes relatable stories illustrating dilemmas young Africans face, questions to discuss with their partner in a non-threatening way, a gracious and non-judgemental approach, and worksheets that pull the couple to explore their unique backgrounds. I will definitely be recommending this book everywhere I go.—Modupe Ehirim, Founder and Lead Counsellor at The Right Fit Marriage Academy

As a Kenyan and Canadian who have been married just over 13 years, we could easily relate to many issues covered in this magnificent book. We wish we had had such an excellent resource to prepare us for marriage! We do lots of pre-marital counselling in our church, which this book will easily complement. We highly recommend this book as a marriage resource for those intending to get married, for the already married seeking to mentor others, and for ministers who serve in such ministries. —Stanley and Christa Gitonga, Lead pastors at PEFA Runda

I like the way James and Chao discussed how we can take the good from our culture and traditions and make it part of our marriages today. It was a breath of fresh air! They relate to the readers by using their own experiences as examples. The fictional story of Jabali and Karembo is right on point. It captures the African audience, who relate to stories. I was really impressed that after each chapter there is an opportunity to act on the information and make commitments. This resource will equip us as we strive to help couples in their relationships. —Pastor Charles Macharia, Firm Foundation Ministries

I have had the privilege of mentoring young couples preparing for marriage. Without a shadow of doubt, this is my new go-to tool. Chao and James have done a wonderful job providing a delightful, easy-to-use guide that couples and mentors alike will appreciate. —Pastor John Paul Mugendi, Senior Pastor of Karen Community Church

Truly a delight to read. This book offers wonderful wisdom on communication, roles, finances, sex, and much more! I especially enjoyed the many real-life examples and couples’ stories that were shared in the book. If you’re planning to get married, do your marriage a favour and grab a copy of this book. You will not regret it! —Michael and Muthoni Waiyaki, married nine years

Second to the church, marriage is the most beautiful institution our God ever established. However, no one is born knowing how to be or stay married. People need preparation and mentorship. Getting Married? is a well-researched and biblically-centred premarital tool. You will enjoy meeting the fictional couple, Jabali and Karembo, who walk alongside you as you prepare for your marriage. Pastors and counsellors, you need to grab this masterpiece! It will make your work easy and most definitely enjoyable. —Pastor Isaac and Rayhab Macharia, Lead Pastors of Trinity Chapel Kampala

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