Relationship Status

Living in a society that is centered around sex, love, dating, and relationships can be hard as a single person. Singleness wouldn’t seem like a punishment if our world hadn’t made it so. Surrounding yourself with these types of thoughts can make you feel lonely or unwanted. There is pressure around finding “the one” at a certain age, settling down, and having children. There is no set timeline that your life is supposed to follow. Your story and calling are unique. You may be called to get married at age 22, 55, or never.

Some people are called by God to be single. Singleness is a gift, just like marriage is a gift. Being single is not bad, it’s biblical. After all, Paul the apostle was single his entire life for the sake of the gospel. There are many positives to being single, including but not limited to:

Growing especially deep relationships with friends and family members
Following God’s divine plan for your life, wherever that may lead
Can be spontaneous with mission opportunities
Blessing others with excess finances
Different ways to serve others
More time to dedicate

However, being single has its challenges. If you feel called to eventually marry but have not found your person yet, it can be confusing and frustrating. If you are unsure if you are called to a life of singleness or not, it can be difficult to discern God’s will for your life. These thoughts and questions require much prayer. Rely on God. Tell him about your thoughts and struggles. Express your concerns to him through fervent prayer. We can rest and know that no matter if we are single, dating, or married, God has a plan for us. No matter our stage of life, his promises to us remain the same. Our earthly relationship status does not affect our relationship with God through Jesus Christ our Saviour.

Single people can use their time of singleness, no matter how long/short it may be, to edify the Body of Christ. They have been given unique opportunities to use their gifts, to serve, and to love intentionally. They have a role to play in the Church and the Christian community.

God uses single people. Don’t buy into the lie that you have to be married to have a successful ministry or a fulfilled life.

Single people deserve as much appreciation as those who are in a relationship. Single people are exactly where God wants them to be in the current moment. The pressures of time and age and family members who mean no harm often force people into dating or marriage relationships that are not God ordained. Divorce rates are higher than ever. We as Christians must band together to:

Shepherd and counsel those who are in a relationship
Appreciate, love, and include those who are single
Encourage our family in Christ to pray about their relationship status
Respect others’ decisions regarding relationships
Reject societal pressures and instead turn to the Bible when it comes to dating and singleness (the Bible contains information about both)

It’s easy for relationships to take a wrong turn. Sex, money, opinions, religion, opportunities, infidelity, time, children, etc. all have the potential to negatively affect a relationship. It’s the Church’s job to restore the original intent of biblical relationships as God would have it. We must treat them with care. We must cherish relationships for what they are. Then, the world will see where they went wrong and how to fix it.

If you are currently struggling in your season of singleness, here are a few easy action steps that you can take inspired by the Africa Study Biblepages 1684-1686:

Talk to a trusted Christian mentor about this season. Be honest and expressive. Ask for advice, prayer, and encouragement.
Pray hard and often. Tell God everything.
Know that it’s okay/normal to struggle. You are not alone!
Have single friends AND friends that are in a relationship.
Read Christian books on relationships and utilize other resources that will help you in this time. There are so many good resources out there for people in your exact position!
Find your identity in Christ and be comfortable with it. You must understand who you are in Christ before you begin a romantic relationship.
Stand on and refer to God’s Word
Be cautious and mindful
Enjoy what you have been given! Remember that singleness is all about mindset – it’s a gift not a punishment.

Your romantic relationship status is not as important as your status in eternity. Although the world will tell you lies that will make you feel alone, hold onto God’s truth and know that he loves you more than anyone ever will. Use this time wisely.

This excerpt is inspired by an Article in the Africa Study Bible. Africa Study Bible Articles are about the Christian life and critical concerns that face the church in Africa and its people. The articles help you understand how to apply the bible to a specific area of life where God’s wisdom is needed.